It’s January. It’s a naturally occurring new beginning, albeit very strangely placed in the middle of seasons. If I were creating a calendar it would not begin in the middle of winter, it would begin at the beginning of spring when all of nature is beginning again. But what do I know!?
Regardless of how inappropriately scheduled, it does feel like a fresh start and many of us are trying to change some things about how we’ve been traveling through life lately. That’s awesome! Unlike all the cynics and naysayers out there, I’m all for you having a resolution and wanting to change something. It only proves to me that you’re reflecting on your life and choices and recognizing tools that once served you that have outlived their usefulness. I will not recite statistics of success associated with New Years Resolutions because…who needs it!?
I will tell you what I’ve noticed about how we change. If you look at marketing and the celebrity culture associated with all changes, you’ll notice that most of it is about extremes. Have you been eating carbs? Boy are you wrong?! Have you cut carbs, boy are you wrong!! Have you been marketing your ideas on facebook? Boy are you wrong! Have you been cleaning with Windex!? Boy are you wrong! Everything wants you to believe that change and success consist of making an about face. You aren’t happy because you’re headed in the completely wrong direction.
Hogwash.
All the celebrities famous for the thing you’re thinking about changing are very extreme about the thing you’re thinking about changing. Whether it’s organizing, cleaning, fitness, dieting or meditation, the famous people are the ones who drown themselves in it all day, every day. If you’re aiming to be like them, it will require you to get very extreme! And unless you are extreme, you won’t. But extreme change is the least sustainable kind of change. And the most tumultuous on you emotionally.
So let’s put Influencer Culture in it’s place. It’s nice to have people who major in some things because they get to learn a lot of complex things about the way it works. It’s important to get experts to help us when we want to know more and do better. But never lose touch with the part of you that feels a little wary at the messages being delivered to you. If it sounds extreme (extremely strange, extremely out of the box, extremely easy) it’s okay to hesitate. If it doesn’t resonate, hesitate. Even if you’re not an expert, you’re allowed to doubt people’s advice if it doesn’t seem right to you. Question them, question their credentials, question their research.
Good change, lasting change, doesn’t happen by extreme measures. It happens when you choose the smallest steps you can sustain. Change isn’t about waking up as your new self. It’s about what you can manage to do everyday with consistency. So maybe you can’t start working out everyday for 2 hours. That’s a bit extreme. Maybe you can’t drink a whole gallon of water even if you mark the sides of the container with reminders. But you can do ten push ups every morning first thing. And you can decide to only drink water with your meals.
You know this stuff. You sense this stuff is true. It’s not fancy and amazing and maybe that’s why it doesn’t really sell. But it does change things. And isn’t that what we’re really after?